put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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