I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
