What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
The air taste purple.
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