He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
