I love watching others lives come down to our level.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
