I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
