How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
