So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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