He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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