we're chasing vodka with high fives
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
you had me at cake vodka
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
