God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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