He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
