I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
