remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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