I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
