Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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