you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
