Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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