Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
