Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
