My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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