They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
