He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
