dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
