Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
