I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
