So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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