remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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