i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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