Porn is love you can see.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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