Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
