i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
