he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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