I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i love accidental penises.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize