we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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