i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
