im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
