but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
