Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
How naked do you want me to be?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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