That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize