You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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