Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
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