The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
