Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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