My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
