just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
