I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
