We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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