you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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