Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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