other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
