Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
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