How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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