Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Hippo gnu deer
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
