if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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