i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
