I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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