do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
