No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
