You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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