a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
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