So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
