i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
