I hate all girls vehemently.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Still dying that you shit outside
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
My dad just said "fuck circus"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize