i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
