This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
