Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
