I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
