So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I just found a bag of teeth...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
