So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
