just come out here and I will go home with you...
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
